So I was just reading some of Josh's posts on Facebook. That kid has it figured out. I mean, the part about not really knowing what's going on, but somehow knowing we'll come through.
Believe you me, there are some things here that I never expected to happen. I didn't dream I'd be going to a dinner less than a month in to say goodbye to a fellow exchange student. I don't blame her in the least, but it scares me just a little. She's going home ASAP...what if I get to that point? I guess I know that I won't, but the possibility's out there, and it makes me question myself.
I also didn't expect to be bookless. How silly is that? I could just ask my mom to take me to a library, but for whatever reason, I haven't yet. And so, in these long days of no school, I'm watching TV, and studying. How very much unlike me, to watch so much TV. And most of it isn't even in Spanish! Yes, so I'm a little disappointed in myself, but on the whole, I'm just staying alive here.
Not that if I weren't watching TV I wouldn't be alive. No, I've very alive. Just sometimes, I want to do something.
Last year, Fernando ended almost every conversation with ''Call me. Let's do something.'' I think I know what he was feeling. It was so easy in Alaska to sit home and and just hang, with myself. But here, myself is so confused that I NEED to be with other people to feel normal.
Other things I didn't expect: well, this ''situation'' for one. Don't get me wrong, I'm not scared for my safety, but my perspectives are changing so much because of the fighting and news headlines and death counts (in Pando! Not where I am!)
Then my Spanish...ha ha, I don't know what I was thinking about Spanish. I think I'm doing pretty well now, but I can't help but think What If. What if my friends talked to me in Spanish, instead of English? What if I didn't watch any English TV? What if I wrote in my journal in Spanish instead of English?
I know this is a little more angsty than usual. Please don't freak on me, I'm not depressed or anything like that. Just thought you should know a little.
Anyway, I'm off to that goodbye dinner.
Much love,
I am yours,
Erika
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3 comments:
Hola chica! Como estas? Parece que todo esta muy bien en Bolivia. Lei mucho del gobierno, hay muchos problemas, no? Yo quiero que me escribas algo que la clase puede leer juntos. Also, can you tell me what has been helpful to you that you learned in Spanish class and what would have been helpful? Always like to know (: My school email is: colemana@mail.ssd.k12.ak.us
Espero que todo este super bien,
Sra. C
We're not "freaking," but we are parents. We're gonna worry, fuss, stew, and pray. We're so pleased at how well you're handling this huge transition, but we fully expect you to have some bumps in the process. Thank goodness Mama and I had each other when we went to Japan. Talk about culture shock! But, unlike you, we were in a stable community, country, etc. We love you and we support you all the way! Please give your Bolivian mom and dad a big abrazo and beso from us.
wow, i love reading your blog, it's the closest i can get to hearing you speak! i'll have to catch up on all the ones i've missed so far.
love you bunches,
kari
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